Crazy doesn’t do justice to this thriller and neither does thriller.
The history books will record England again fell just short in their RBS 6 Nations title bid. But this 12-try rollercoaster was a match that had it all, as the curtain came down on the Championship with an encounter that may not have decided the destination of the title but will still live long in the memory.
Ireland’s earlier 40-10 win over Scotland meant England knew they had to win by a 26-point margin to claim the title after three consecutive runners-up places.
But considering France had only conceded two tries in their last four games and you needed to go back to before World War I for the last time they slumped to such a comprehensive defeat, it always looked a mission improbable if not impossible.
And while the title is retained by Ireland, England coach Stuart Lancaster should take pride in a victory over a French side – dubbed soporific by their own press in recent weeks – who finally found their trademark flair at Twickenham.
This was an extraordinary end to an extraordinary Championship – it wasn’t always pretty and some players are best spared the post-match analysis but it was still spellbinding stuff in the best traditions of this storied competition.
England’s winning margin fell just six points short of their target – and Lancaster, who gathered his devastated players around on the pitch post match, will be quick to point to decisive moments throughout their campaign as the ultimate difference.
Lancaster’s side had stuttered in the opening stages of their victories over Wales and Italy and had failed to take numerous chances last weekend against Scotland – points left on the park that seven days ago it seemed they might live to regret. And, so it proved.
More of the same would mean only one result but the task in hand meant there would be no time to move gracefully through the gears.
Rattling their rivals from the off was clearly the game plan and when scrum half Sébastien Tillous-Borde was caught napping, Jonathan Joseph surged clear and Ben Youngs’ dancing feet took him across the line for a second-minute try that George Ford converted.
With every point invaluable Ford missed a long-range penalty while Jules Plisson reduced arrears after England were penalised for holding on.
It was a blood and thunder opening with no quarter asked or given and that usually means mistakes.
And when England lost control of a ruck, Tillous-Borde seized on an errant pass by Youngs and raced the length of the field to score unopposed.
Now England were doing their best Gallic shrug, perhaps knowing that any chance of the Championship was already slipping away.
And when Noa Nakaitaci scored, after James Haskell needlessly surrendered the ball, they weren’t only losing the game but the battle of the voices, as the La Marseillaise was sung above the home crowd’s half-hearted attempts at Swing Low Sweet Chariot.
Courtney Lawes’ crunching tackle on Plisson then woke Twickenham up and his teammates from their slumber.
Ford then reduced arrears from the tee and Anthony Watson crashed over in the corner for a converted try that put England back in front.
Lancaster is a coach with a plan but this was a game that was going to be decided on wits and luck. It was end to end and scrappy but it was definitely entertaining, underlined by England’s third try, another combination of Joseph’s running and Youngs’s quick-thinking.
But the sub-plot of the game had surely changed. Common sense dictated this was no longer about England winning by their lofty points target it was simply about winning, starting the day as favourites for the title and finishing it ranked fourth was clearly not acceptable.
England went into the interval, after another Ford penalty, brimming with confidence and a wave of hopeful expectation swept around Twickenham as the home supporters took out their half-time hip flasks and their calculators.
But instead of capitalising on their momentum they allowed their visitors back onto the front foot, France captain Thierry Dusautoir punching a hole in England’s fractured defence and Maxime Mermoz diving under the posts soon after the restart.
Ford, whose errant kick had invited the early pressure, made amends with a try of his own that restored the 12-point advantage only for replacement Rory Kockott’s penalty to put the lead back into single digits.
But this was not a match to take your eyes off and Jack Nowell’s converted try put England to within a converted score and a penalty of their pre-match target.
Haskell has re-established himself as part of England’s plans in recent weeks but this was not a match to remember for the Wasps flanker and Lancaster and his staff were left fuming at his needless leg trip on Plisson that resulted in a trip to the sin bin.
And France duly made their numerical advantage count, both sides were clearly exhausted from their efforts in the cause and gaps were starting to yawn open.
Nakaitaci exploited acres of space and then offloaded to 20-stone prop Vincent Debaty, the most unlikely player to cap off such a free-flowing move.
Look away now and you’d miss a try, Billy Vunipola crashed across the line for England but just when you though French shoulders would slump they rallied, replacement hooker Benjamin Kayser emerging from a melee of bodies with the ball for the visitors’ fifth try.
Nowell scored again to take England across the 50-point barrier for the first time ever against France – which left them just a converted score short of their target with five minutes left.
Twickenham was now alive as the hosts camped on the French line but it was not to be.
